...It has been a while since we've written about the adoption process...just thought we'd share an update (this week has been a bit of a roller coaster):
--At the end of February we put a hold on our adoption paperwork after our second match of 2009 fell through. We were feeling emotionally drained and needed some time to think/pray about things. Even if we try to stay detached, it's impossible not to think about and pray for each baby we're matched with as a future Chupp kiddo.
--I (Kara) even tried to convince myself we were supposed to stop the process. Ending the process seemed much safer and way less emotionally, physically & financially stressful. Jason, on the other hand, never wavered....and I'm so thankful...because throughout the 6 weeks we put everything on hold, I knew deep down that we would reactivate because I knew deep down that God had pointed us toward adoption and that this still was an unfinished story.
--Our 6 weeks "on hold" also crossed the anniversary of Selah's death...so strange to remember the season last year and what we were doing....many of the same events/holidays with her and then without her. May 10th last year was her memorial and May 10th this year was Mother's Day; the whole time period brought back good memories, but also heavy waves of sadness.
--When we both felt ready, we opened the adoption door again. We prayed that we would be matched with a baby due very soon (the waiting period is the hardest part) and maybe even a situation with the child already born so we could fly out right away.
--Within a week of reactivating we got a call that a birthmom chose our family....but her due date was July 7th....quite a ways off for the program we're in. We accepted the match.
--Though our program isn't designed to be an "open adoption", we've had contact with the birthmom, Stefani, and we really care about her as well as the baby. It has been so different to feel like we're getting to know her a bit. She is trying to go to school, work two jobs, and help care for her three other children. She has been very thoughtful and kind towards us and has made a huge effort to keep us in the loop as far as how she is doing and how the baby is.
--Last week we learned that her due date was moved even a bit more into July....July 19th.
--Then this week, we got a call that we had also been matched with another baby. That doesn't usually happen because once a match occurs, a family's profile is pulled from the system.
--The situation this week, was basically the exact scenario we were praying for when we reactivated....the baby girl was already born and legally free and from our favorite coordinating agency. And we had to make a decision....
--What a strange thing it is to realize that your decision will effect which baby is forever more your child....it was really an awful decision to make. My first (very selfish) reaction was to hop on a plane and fly out right away to get the baby....we've been in this process of waiting and ups and downs and wondering and loss since May 2007...and I'm so ready for all that to be over for a while. But Jason felt strongly that we should honor our commitment to Stefani....and deep down...I knew he was right.
--So, we communicated our decision and then about an hour later Stefani contacted me and let me know that she was at the hospital having major pain, contractions and some bleeding. Jason and I were both so so so thankful that we had confirmed our commitment to her and our July baby. I was immediately overwhelmed by the emotion I felt not only for this little baby, but also for this birthmom...in pain, probably scared, alone at the hospital. She contacted us even before she contacted her social worker....and that meant so much.
--The doctors were able to stop the contractions with medicine and they told her she needs to slow down and watch for more preterm labor....at 32 weeks a baby can make it...but it's still very early. We know that Stefani really does care about the baby very much; we also understand that she needs to go to school and work and has other children so bedrest feels almost impossible.
--We are fully committed to this baby (Lord willing--the newest Chupp baby girl) and this birthmom...this has been a very unique match. If God brings our family to mind, or our baby, or Stefani....we would really appreciate prayer for their safety and health.
--Thanks so much for supporting us and encouraging us through this process!
Love, Chuppies
--At the end of February we put a hold on our adoption paperwork after our second match of 2009 fell through. We were feeling emotionally drained and needed some time to think/pray about things. Even if we try to stay detached, it's impossible not to think about and pray for each baby we're matched with as a future Chupp kiddo.
--I (Kara) even tried to convince myself we were supposed to stop the process. Ending the process seemed much safer and way less emotionally, physically & financially stressful. Jason, on the other hand, never wavered....and I'm so thankful...because throughout the 6 weeks we put everything on hold, I knew deep down that we would reactivate because I knew deep down that God had pointed us toward adoption and that this still was an unfinished story.
--Our 6 weeks "on hold" also crossed the anniversary of Selah's death...so strange to remember the season last year and what we were doing....many of the same events/holidays with her and then without her. May 10th last year was her memorial and May 10th this year was Mother's Day; the whole time period brought back good memories, but also heavy waves of sadness.
--When we both felt ready, we opened the adoption door again. We prayed that we would be matched with a baby due very soon (the waiting period is the hardest part) and maybe even a situation with the child already born so we could fly out right away.
--Within a week of reactivating we got a call that a birthmom chose our family....but her due date was July 7th....quite a ways off for the program we're in. We accepted the match.
--Though our program isn't designed to be an "open adoption", we've had contact with the birthmom, Stefani, and we really care about her as well as the baby. It has been so different to feel like we're getting to know her a bit. She is trying to go to school, work two jobs, and help care for her three other children. She has been very thoughtful and kind towards us and has made a huge effort to keep us in the loop as far as how she is doing and how the baby is.
--Last week we learned that her due date was moved even a bit more into July....July 19th.
--Then this week, we got a call that we had also been matched with another baby. That doesn't usually happen because once a match occurs, a family's profile is pulled from the system.
--The situation this week, was basically the exact scenario we were praying for when we reactivated....the baby girl was already born and legally free and from our favorite coordinating agency. And we had to make a decision....
--What a strange thing it is to realize that your decision will effect which baby is forever more your child....it was really an awful decision to make. My first (very selfish) reaction was to hop on a plane and fly out right away to get the baby....we've been in this process of waiting and ups and downs and wondering and loss since May 2007...and I'm so ready for all that to be over for a while. But Jason felt strongly that we should honor our commitment to Stefani....and deep down...I knew he was right.
--So, we communicated our decision and then about an hour later Stefani contacted me and let me know that she was at the hospital having major pain, contractions and some bleeding. Jason and I were both so so so thankful that we had confirmed our commitment to her and our July baby. I was immediately overwhelmed by the emotion I felt not only for this little baby, but also for this birthmom...in pain, probably scared, alone at the hospital. She contacted us even before she contacted her social worker....and that meant so much.
--The doctors were able to stop the contractions with medicine and they told her she needs to slow down and watch for more preterm labor....at 32 weeks a baby can make it...but it's still very early. We know that Stefani really does care about the baby very much; we also understand that she needs to go to school and work and has other children so bedrest feels almost impossible.
--We are fully committed to this baby (Lord willing--the newest Chupp baby girl) and this birthmom...this has been a very unique match. If God brings our family to mind, or our baby, or Stefani....we would really appreciate prayer for their safety and health.
--Thanks so much for supporting us and encouraging us through this process!
Love, Chuppies
