A friend just rang my doorbell...my friend had found an old piece of paper that she'd written on during the week we were in the hospital last year with Selah. She'd also figured out something about today that I was sure only I knew.
Today Lydia is the exact age that Selah was when she died. I knew we were getting close, but it only really hit me this past weekend. We were with family and someone mentioned how it seems like Lydia has been with us longer than 4 months. It made me think about how it felt that same way with Selah.
Lydia is so much a part of our lives. We love her so much. We can't imagine our family without her.
Thinking back to how we felt about Selah doesn't lessen the joy and thankfulness that we feel about Lydia.
But it did make me think how much Selah was a part of our lives even after just 4 and 1/2 months....it also brought back an deep wave of the sadness and made me miss her.
It's a strange thing to realize that your younger child will grow older than her older sister...
That we will experience (Lord willing) much with Lydia that we never were able to enjoy with Selah.
But I am thankful, in a more poignant way, for each day with Lydia.
On a side note....there are times when God puts someone on my heart....to call or email or visit...when I know He wants me to send a card or make a meal. When Selah died we were the recipients of His love through others in so many ways. But when God is involved in friendship, He can prompt those encouraging acts of love that go so far beyond ordinary friendship.
I don't need today to be a big deal. I knew that we'd hit this day and Lydia would eventually be older than Selah ever was. I also am extremely thankful for each day God adds to Lydi's little life, but when my friend stopped by today...it was just another glimpse of God's tender love...that He would remind her of something I felt was only hidden in my heart. All she had to say was, "I was thinking about what today meant..." and the tears flowed. Both because the ache does sometimes resurface, but also because I could see God's love through her.
Whatever you are facing right now...whether it is pain that feels unbearable or a lingering ache that makes life feel heavy...or if you simply feel Him tugging at your heart to reach out to someone who may need it. God's love can be found and felt and shown and is real in the midst of darkness.
This was the quote that my friend wrote in her card...
"When your faith endures many conflicts and your spirit sinks low,
Do not condemn yourself.
There is a reason for your season of heaviness.
Great soldiers are not made without war.
Skillful sailors are not trained on the shore.
It appears that if you are to be a great helper to others, you must pass through trials.
The uncut diamond has little brilliance,
The unthreshed corn feeds no one,
And the untried believer is of little use or beauty.
There are great benefits to come from your trials and depression."
~Charles Spurgeon
One benefit we've seen through pain is experiencing even deeper and more personal evidence of God's love for us through others. And He surprised me again today...with friendship that goes beyond...
