As we were walking out the door...
Our oldest commented, "Last night I had a dream that I kissed ______."
Guess what we discussed for the next two
kid-free hours?
For several months we've been talking about the conversation that needs to take place.
You know.
That one about the "Birds and the Bees".
But--that isn't actually the focus of this post...though I have plenty of hilarious stories to share about how that whole dialogue went down and how it is very much an ongoing topic of interest around our house these days.
Maybe I'll get around to that post next week.
Once I find a way to safely rid the place of child-made flash cards with words like:
"Youterus" scrawled across them.
Last week though, I was wiping down our youngest's booster chair...which looked like a postmodern art extravaganza of milk splashes mixed with applesauce smears.
The whole area looked a bit like a 1990's splatter painting experiment.
And it's funny what a thing like that will trigger....
But I starting thinking back to those first few years of our marriage when we attended a small group study at an "older" couple's house in the area.
For the most part, we were all youngsters.
And they were really old--
Like 34.
And none of us had kids.
And they had a mob--
Like 3.
And I remember thinking they had sticky chairs.
Seriously--here's my public apology Cheryl--I remember thinking that your chairs were sticky.
But the funny thing is--now I'm at a place where I'm just happy if the sticky jam globs stay on the chairs and don't come off on our clothes.
Tonight I changed my daughter's "yucky pants" in the middle of the kitchen floor while cooking dinner.
Interesting how a little time...and 5 kids...can change your perspective on cleanliness.
All these deep thoughts resurfaced when I was reading Russell Moore's latest blog post.
Which you can read here.
(Side note-I just figured out how to link to things--so I'm a little link-happy these days).
Moore's point is that there is an expectation that parents will forewarn and explain to their children about the upcoming events of puberty.
And then he comments:
"Why don’t our older women tell twenty-something young brides about the kind of isolation that can come with small children in the house? Why don’t our older men prepare our thirtysomethings for the testosterone drop that often prompts what we call a “midlife crisis”? Why can’t older women teach younger women how to handle the hormonal upheaval that can come with menopause, and how to go through it with Christlikeness? Why couldn’t the elderly in our congregations warn the younger generations about the pull toward bitterness or despondency or rage that can come with failing health or life in nursing homes?
In some congregations, of course, that kind of generational forewarning takes place, but I suspect it happens in far too few. I wonder what would happen if we started listening to one another about those temptations “common to man” (1 Cor. 10:13) at each stage of the life cycle. Perhaps then we would look more like the Book of Proverbs, a father warning his son of what’s to come (Prov. 5-7). And perhaps then we would look more like our Lord Jesus who spoke ahead of time to his disciples of the trouble that was to come (Jn. 14:29)."
I loved his post.
He then basically asked....why doesn't this happen more often?
And so I commented (because I also recently learned how to "comment") :
"We used to be in an age-segregated small group and enjoyed it very much, but for the past several years have been in one where the range is early 20’s to 60’s. I have been so SO thankful for the input of those a little farther down the road and also for the reminder of what it was like in those first few years when we were just starting to have kiddos.
I think another factor that contributes is the “boxing up” of the term mentoring or discipleship. It is not always (nor should it be) limited by the notion of needing to occur on a weekly basis in a formal setting.
Last year, I chronicled (here) a bit about my own personal mentors and none of the scenarios is exactly alike. I think sometimes, especially when I was younger…I was looking for some sort of official “mentor” and I then missed seeing the very people God had placed directly in my path."
Today a friend dropped by. She is older than I am.
I told her about some of our struggles with discipline and school...
And then she told me about her son getting his driver's license and her daughter's desire to be a missionary overseas in a dangerous place.
In both of our stages--these things are intense.
But--it's good to get perspective.
And to remember we have the same God.
Who never changes.
And who is in complete control.
And who loves our children even more than we do.
Last week I walked with an "older" friend (she is going to kick me for that description) and we talked through some aspects of finances and of children who have left home and of entrusting our children to the Lord.
But she has about 20 years on me.
Her perspective gives a seasoned wisdom.
This week I shared on multiple occasions with some younger moms...about parenting and marriage and the literal "birds and the bees"...and it was good for me to
Remember.
And it was good for them to catch a glimpse of the future.
All that to say--I'm so thankful for those who don't want to stick to their own peer group.
Who are willing to engage both the younger and older generations.
Who are willing tell me about the "Bird and the Bees" that may just be around my next corner.
