This would be today's entry.
September 8, 2011
The high school, behind our house, started the day before.
I watched those yellow bus--es pulling in.
Rounded corners of yellow fears and questions.
New beginnings and final moments.
Near-adult-very-much-children--
Anxious pounding hearts filed out,
Masked in bravado.
I remember when I taught.
Those freshman faces--
Plastered in self-confidence.
But not enough to hide the base of fear beneath.
I remember that myself.
Those first days...
New school, new people, new teachers, new classrooms...
Praying, just praying for even one child--
To reach out.
So that hers won't eat alone.
And my other friend.
She knows my struggle.
A child who enters every year facing mountains.
Not just the average...
But true struggles of dis--
Ability.
Oh how much those with -ability can take for granted.
Because I was one of them.
And I'm thankful that I now understand--
What "20 new spelling words" can truly mean.
Yesterday we gathered in the foyer,
Mamas lingering to make sure--
Right classes were found,
Lunches remembered,
Last goodbyes said,
And those photos through the glass-framed-windows--
Hoping not to embarrass, but just needing one last
Assurance.
Seeing happy smiles, hands over hearts, and flag salutes of
Children already at ease.
First child.
First day.
First hours entrusting One so loved into the care of another.
A few teary...and I very much understood.
It's bittersweet--
The releasing.
The relaxing of a tightly grasped protection.
And me...
It scares me.
How big, how soon, how fast.
I want to reel it all back in and ask the Measure for more time.
As I slowly back away,
I pray for:
Hearts that will look towards others.
Teachers who will love with His love.
Friendships that will draw them Closer.
Challenges that will make them need Him.
Abilities that will bring Him glory.
And the connection--
That He'll show me how to let go and stay close at the same time.
My fingers
Slowly uncurling,
Letting them slip into His hand--
That really
Was cupping us all
In love-full protection,
The whole time.
*Happily sharing with Titus2sdays, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, and Imperfect Prose....so thankful for these encouraging women.
